Hello You,
Today, as I was walking down my beach, I was suddenly somewhere else. I was back on that pier. Waiting. Watching. Anticipating his return. I could feel the wind on my face. I could smell that beautiful Hawaiian air. I could hear the families standing around me. I could see the ship in the distance moving through the channel. How did I get there?
It’s one of the most bizarre feelings. On the outside I see the world around me, as it is now. But in my mind, I’m back in this moment, this other lifetime. I’m seeing two stories play out, simultaneously, the one I’m currently living and the one that I’ve left behind. Some don’t last long; they leave me as quick as they came on. While others, will stay for hours, even days. I don’t think its déjà vu, it’s more of a dream. A lucid dream. A time travel, but not in the Hollywood movie kind of way. I can’t control it or make it happen. I can’t talk or interact with anyone. I just watch my life, as if it were a silent movie.
Today wasn’t the first time this wave has rushed over me. I’ve found myself back in many different places in my life. Guam, Hawaii, Florida, New Mexico. Places that have such a special meaning in my heart. I’ve been surrounded by people I haven’t seen or talked to in many years. When it happens, it’s always a surprise, I never know where I’m going to end up or what feeling it’s going to bring to the surface. But I wouldn’t change a thing. Not only do I get to remember times in my life, I get to relive them.
Maybe this is my real-life superpower. Or it’s something I need to bring up in my next therapy appointment. Either way.
xoxo
Letters to You 