Hello You,
This morning I walked my normal weekend route, which usually always brings peace to my mind and body. It’s something I look forward to all week. When I’m there I write, I breathe, I let the week go. But, today felt different. Today, my mind was racing. My belly was nervous. Why? What was different about today?
Well, it started a week ago. Actually I suppose two months ago? Ok, I’ll catch you up. I’ve been walking this lake, since I lived here before. It’s my place. I’ll walk it to walk, I’ll walk it to think, I’ll walk it with friends, by myself, it brings a smile no matter what. So, I knew when I moved back, that ultimately had to be the first thing I did. And for all intents and purposes, it was; if you don’t count grocery shopping and moving my stuff in. The first morning I was here, I got up early and drove to my lake. So overwhelmed with emotions, I began to cry. I think they were playing some 80s songs that morning on the radio, and the tears just started to fall. So many thoughts, so many feelings. I was back home and I knew it. My heart couldn’t deny it.
I didn’t notice it when I lived here before, but there are some very attractive people that choose to workout there. Maybe I was too consumed by thoughts of someone else then, ahem…B? Or, maybe my heart wasn’t ready to see what was around me. Either way, my eyes are open now! On my first Sunday walk, I noticed this man running towards me, he ran with such ease. As a runner (currently on hiatus), you notice these things. His gait was beautiful, his breath didn’t sound strained, he wasn’t “pounding” the pavement when he ran. He was relaxed. I don’t think he saw me staring; hopefully not. But every time he passed by I couldn’t take my eyes off of him. It doesn’t help that he is also very easy to look at.
Just about every weekend since, he’s been there. He’s become a sort of fixture on my walks. If he’s not there, it seems odd, like somethings missing. It was probably, the second, maybe third weekend that we were both there that we noticed each other. It went from one mutual “side eye” during his run, to every time he would lap me, we would share a glance. Like a school girl, my stomach would flutter. A little smile would appear. After he passed by, obviously; I have to play it cool. Yup, had developed a crush on this mystery man. And honestly, I’m not mad about it. It’s fun. It’s innocent. It’s unspoken. Or so I thought.
Last weekend, Sunday, I set out thinking “I’m not going to walk far today, maybe one or two laps, that’s it.” Saturday, J and I had walked a half marathon and I just wanted to stretch out my legs. But he was there. I had to keep going. And I’m glad I did. As he passed by me, on what must have been his last lap, he said, “so I guess I’ll see you next weekend.”
“Did he really just talk to m…..?” I thought.
I giggled and replied, “Yea, I guess so.” I’m secretly glad that he kept running though, because he couldn’t see the smile that was plastered all over my face. Now, the guy behind him could and did. Ha. He saw everything. The smile. The giggle. The look of disbelief. To catch someone in a moment like that, it’s so pure. So innocent. It has to be quite magical.
Now, a week later, and I’m still wondering, why me? Was he just being nice? Will I see him tomorrow? Will he talk to me again? Just the thought gives me butterflies.
xoxo
Letters to You 