March 11, 2021

Hello You,

Today was my follow up with Dr. B. Not going to lie, I’ve been smiling all day. I guess that whole “Nightingale Syndrome” is actually a schoolgirl crush.

My appointment was early, and across town. Though I was secretly excited about this appointment, I couldn’t stop crying on the drive there. I was exhausted, I didn’t sleep well last night. When I’m that tired, I get all weepy and cry for no reason. As I pulled into the parking lot, that changed. I saw Dr. B standing out there talking to someone, I’m pretty sure he saw me too, but awkwardly I kept driving and didn’t wave. Why would I do that? It would make sense; any normal person would’ve waved hi. Me, nope. Instead, I got shy and nervous.

I was waiting to check in to the appointment, and my phone rang, it was Dr. B. he said, “have you already left yet? I’m sorry I haven’t followed up with Dr. H yet, did you go?”

“Yes,” I said. “I did, and it was alright.”

“Ok, well you can tell me about it when you get here.” He said.

After a little while, they texted and brought me in. Took my vitals, stole some more of my blood, and sat me in one of the exam rooms. Have you ever noticed; exam rooms are never decorated? They are always bare. You sometimes sit there for a long time, so a little ambiance might be nice. Dr. B entered and sat. We discussed my visit with Dr. H, the elimination diagnosis, and the medicine he prescribed. Dr. B said he wasn’t concerned about me being on it, this made me feel more comfortable. There is a sense of trust that I feel around him. I believe him. All the while he was talking to me, I could see him looking at my neck. I wondered how long it was going to take him to ask me what was going on there. Yesterday, my neck and shoulder muscle spasmed and my Chiropractor put tape on it for added support. He couldn’t help it, he got up and rubbed his hand across my shoulder, I said, “it’s tape, I hurt my neck yesterday.”

“Oh,” he said, “I thought it might have been a scar.”

As he was listening to my heart, he asked, “so are you still working?”

“Yes. We’re super busy. I’m so tired. I feel like running away somedays,” I replied.

He laughed then asked, “Where would you run away to?”

“Hawaii.”

“Oh, Hawaii, that would be amazing. Will you take me with you?” He asked.

“Yes,” I said without hesitation.

He said, “life is too short, if you want to run away, you should do it. You’re young, you’re not old like me. This is the time to do it. And Hawaii would be the perfect place to run away to.”

“I know!” I thought. I’ve always told myself, that I’d have enough money in my account to buy a plane ticket to Hawaii, because if I was going to be broke and have nothing, that is where I’d want to be.

He finished the exam, told me to start my iron pills, and that he would follow up with me in 6 months. Slightly disappointed, thinking “that was a long time from now.” Then he said 4-6 months. “Ok, that’s a little better.”

So, July, it’ll be here before we know it, right?

xoxo